Monday, February 26, 2007

New Employees at Rambus Inc.


HOW TO PLACE NEW EMPLOYEES:

1. Put 400 bricks in a closed room.
2. Put your new hires in the room and close the door.
3. Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours.
4. Then analyze the situation:
a. If they are counting the bricks, put them in the accounting department.
b. If they are recounting them and recounting them and recounting them, put them to work on the Rambus Inc. option backdating restatement project.
c. If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks, put them in engineering.
d. If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order, put them in planning.
e. If they are throwing the bricks at each other, put them in operations.
f. If they are sleeping, put them in security.
g. If they have broken the bricks into pieces, put them on the shredding team.
h. If they are sitting idle, put them in public relations.
i. If they say they have tried different combinations, they are looking for more, yet not a brick has been moved, put them in licensing.
j. If they have already left for the day, submit their names to the BOD as potential officers.
k. If they are staring out of the window, put them in strategic planning.
l. If they are talking to each other, and not a single brick has been moved, congratulate them and submit their names to the BOD as potential directors to serve on the audit committee.
m. If they have surrounded themselves with bricks in such away that they can neither be seen nor heard from, send their resumes to the Federal Trade Commission.

Hat The1stBA for the pre-Rambus Inc. version.

2 comments:

Threejack said...

Hey Treowth,

Of all the parodies written about Rambus over the years, this is tops. Hahaha!

The Options Restating Project (b) and the Licensing (i) placement tests are just plain funny. The best humor always involves some truth. I'm still chuckling.

Thanks for the laugh.

Threejack

Any Donkey said...

Thanks Threejack.

It has been written before:

1) Laughter is the best medicine.

2) Better to laugh than cry.

I am looking forward to the annual shareholder meeting . . .

 
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