Sunday, February 25, 2007

Humor - "R" Rated

One day in the future, Bill Clinton has a heart attack and dies. He immediately goes to hell, where The Devil is waiting for him.

"I don't know exactly what to do here," says the Devil. "I see that you are on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got a couple folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let you decide who leaves."

Clinton agreed that this sounded like a fair deal, so as they walked together ... he and the Devil checked the first door they came upon. In the room was Ted Kennedy and a large pool of water. He kept diving in over and over and surfacing empty handed. Such was his fate in hell. "What do you say?" the Devil asked.

"No," Bill said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long."

The Devil raised his eyebrows, looked at Bill silently, and then led him along to the next door. Inside was Newt Gingrich with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time. "Well?" said the Devil.

"No", Bill said. "I've got this problem shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day".

The Devil was understanding and took Biill down the hallway to another room. In it, Clinton saw Jesse Jackson, lying on the floor with his arms tied over his head, and his legs staked in a spread eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. Clinton took this in disbelief and cheerfully said,

"Yea, I can handle this."

The Devil smiled and said, "OK, Monica, you're free to go!"

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