Thursday, February 09, 2006

Political humor*

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, and 49.09 minutes west longitude."

She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican."

"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?".

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."

The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Democrat."

"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but, somehow, now it is my fault."

*Equal time will be provided if a family friendly joke is submitted.

Hat tip to The1stBA.

9 comments:

Empiricum said...

I checked MapQuest. It seems like they are in the Mediterranean Sea.

Hmmmm... there's your cue, doc! Maybe you can try also a hot-air balloon experimentation to solve the Smith disappearance mystery by determining the weather conditions in that sea. By the time you are done with all your dramatics, you will be well-traveled!

OOOOPS... sorry, I am a registered INDEPENDENT. Thus, I waive "equal time."

Empiricum said...

Having waived "equal time" as an INDEPENDENT, and the democrats neglecting to use theirs, I might as well use their time to speak FOR AMERICA!

The "humor" AS APPLIED TO REPUBLICANS is NOT even close to being accurate. Bush and his minions were NEVER close to being "correct" in their TECHNICAL assessment on the following:

--- IRAQ;
--- WMD;
--- THE ENVIRONMENT;
--- THE BUDGET;
--- THE DOMESTIC SPY PROGRAM;
--- KATRINA;
--- THE U.N.;
--- THE WORLD, AT LARGE; and many more.

Pursuing an agenda of LIES, DECEPTIONS and MANIPULATIONS is not a funny matter!!! We are just beginning to see and feel the effects of Bush's agenda which will continue for generations to come.

Empiricum said...

Michael Brown is talking. Jack Abramoff is talking. Scooter Libby is talking. And what, or better yet, who are they talking about? They are all talking about the "technical incorrectness" of Bush and Cheney! Stay tuned.

blogan said...

Okay, I'll bite. Here's my favorite from the other side:

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."

"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.

Finally, the President looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"

Empiricum said...

Mr. Chairman, how much time do I have left?

Empiricum said...

hmmmm.... no response from the Chair. It seems like we are going "sine die" on this one.

Okay then, here it goes...another Treowth exclusive and emp's original:

*** What is the difference between an Iraqi in Iraq and an Iraqi in the United States?***

hmmmm... I'm being tempted here of making a Henry Lee teaser: I know the answer but I cannot tell you.

nah... Treowth readers don't deserve that kind of treatment! So here it goes...

***An Iraqi in Iraq has lots of crude oil. An Iraqi in the United States has none!***

Could this be the reason for Bush and Cheney showering the former with US tax dollars while putting the latter under surveillance without a warrant?!

Funny, eh?

Empiricum said...

DICK "gfy" CHENEY WENT WILD !

He and his shotgun went "technically incorrect" that his brain malfunctioned. That's the result when he twists his mouth as it twixes the nerves including the scalp, and the brain. Try it and you know what I mean.

Cheney's hunting license should be REVOKED as he poses a danger to himself, his fellow hunters and, most especially, to innocent quails. I am sure that Antonin Scalia is breathing a deep sigh of relief.

Dick should simply remain in his bunker until he is impeached! This is the guy who:

--- has been residing in Texas only to say that he resides in Wyoming to circumvent the law prohiting a VP candidate to run with a prex candidate coming from the same state;

--- was asked to look for a running mate but ended up choosing himself;

--- told Paul O'Neill that the deficit is "not important";

--- proclaimed to the world that the Iraqis will shower the troops with flowers and kisses;

--- devised a scheme to make the president all powerful and all liar just to promote a devious agenda even if the Constitution is circumvented;

--- according to Scooter Libby, was behind the outing of Valerie Plame;

--- practically rules this country!

And I don't even have to mention HALLIBURTON and all its subsidiaries.

There is another TWIST to this "accidental" shooting story. It was not disclosed until after 24 hours. Was Cheney thinking that the incident involves "national security" that it should be kept secret?! Which makes me wonder if there is really such a program as "REX 84 PROGRAM." Is there?

Empiricum said...

Technically speaking, considering such legal maxims as "no one is above the law" and "ignorance of the law excuses no one," and based on the "facts" that are selectively given us, should Dick "gfy" Cheney be prosecuted for...

--- criminal negligence, subject to upgrade IF..?

--- poaching?

--- leaving the scene of an "accident"?

Empiricum said...

FYI:

--- 2 DWIs
--- suspended driver's license
--- Yale dropout

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/cheney_doc.html

Also, reportedly 5 draft deferments!

How did this guy become a VP?!

 
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